3rd Kyu Essay

3rd Kyu was a very important test for me. In addition to doing the first precursor to freestyle, It marked a transition. Reaching brown belt really made me feel like I was in a long period of preparation for Shodan. There was an almost unavoidable sense of being goal oriented, as the Shodan test was such an important milestone in training. However, the period lasting from 3rd Kyu to Shodan is so long, it did become training, just to train. I found myself discovering and rediscovering my purpose in Aikido. This essay was written just as that settling was beginning.

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WHAT AM I DOING?

(Eyes on the Road)

My father was a very gentle and compassionate man. His perspective on violence had, by contrast, a character of finality. He had a number of stories about his time overseas in the Navy that illustrated this. He hated the idea of fighting in general, but I also remember him telling me that the only fair fight was the one where your opponent is unconscious and you can just walk away. I am certain that aspects of this influenced my interest in and the pursuit of the martial arts.

When I first saw Aikido, I was entranced by the power. The dynamic throws and the way uke seemed to writhe in pain when pinned. I wanted that power. Up to the point that I wrote this, my training has been focussed almost solely on the mechanics of the techniques. The more techniques that I could do, the more successful I felt. I hope this is changing.

Lemmon Sensei has always taught me that the principles of Aikido are the techniques themselves. As a result I have faithfully tried to develop my basic movements and apply them to my basic techniques. However, Mustard Sensei said something at his last visit to the Seikokan Dojo that helped me better understand the meaning behind Lemmon Sensei’s patient teachings. Mustard Sensei told us that the techniques we were practicing were not real. My first reaction was “Then what am I doing?”

One of the core messages Mustard Sensei was trying to teach us was that the techniques of Aikido are just tools to help us understand something. What? The easy answer is Aiki. The reason we practice the techniques is not to pin or throw and certainly not to hurt. It is to understand how to use our whole body as a coordinated unit. The goal is to establish a strong posture and move it while remaining in a strong position. We can then take uke to a place where their position is weak. As Mustard Sensei says, “We control uke with our posture”.

When we train, focussing on the end result of the technique, the pin or the throw, we are looking in the wrong place. We also tend to put our focus in the wrong place when we are uke. So often we resist shite or rush ahead, cheating him out of the feel. Worse yet, we sometimes fail to trust shite and focus only on protecting ourselves. Again, Mustard Sensei reminded us that “Uke’s job is to help shite understand the technique”. Uke must trust shite and give him their energy. I don’t think I really understood what that meant until this past summer when I had the chance to train with Mustard Sensei’s top student, Farshad. Through Farshad’s efforts as uke I could feel the appropriate positions and movements.

Our traditional understanding of power and martial contact says crush, resist, and destroy. Because of this we focus on the dynamic result of the throw or the pin. Mustard Sensei explained that this attitude is the work of the ego, and that ego blocks our path. If this is the case (and I believe it is) then answer is simple but difficult. My goal for the future is to become much less concerned about the end result of my techniques. Whether uke flies for me or not is not the issue. The relation of posture, distance, position and timing need to be my focus. If I understand my teachers correctly, getting these things right will ultimately bring me the desire result. (focus on the road, not the destination).

Now, if I can just figure out how to relax…