2nd Kyu Essay

As I get closer to the end of the essays that I have already written, I can see the shifting and ripening of my perspective in Aikido and in my spiritual journey. Most of the challenges I encounter in Aikido have corollaries in my experiences with zazen. What is even more interesting is how understanding changes, from from "I don't get it" to "I get it", but from continuing to work with and refine an existing understanding.

this essay was written in June of 2006...

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Don’t Blink

My teacher once told me that Aikido is a martial art for marathon runners and not for sprinters. By my experience so far, this seems to be true. All the masters of Aikido or any art have worked at their craft for decades, elevating it to a level that goes beyond the ABC – 123 nature of the basic mechanics. I can also see it in my own technique. Although I could “do” Shiho Nage by the end of my second class, that feeling is not how it feels today and it is not how it will feel in 10 years.

Today’s world conditions us to want things instantly, and that can make this type of training difficult. But even if we accept that this training is a continuous process and that it will be many years before we reach a certain level, we can still be trapped. That distant level could become an excuse. It could lead us to act as though the training we do now is less valuable than the training we do when we are Nikyu, Shodan, Sandan, etc. This is ridiculous! What if we taught our children in this manner? What effect would it have if we started each kindergarten lesson by saying “you won’t really understand this for 10, 15, 20 years”? Before long many would stop trying, or feel inadequate

At my first seminar with Robert Mustard Sensei, he spoke about the natural power that comes from relaxing, using our whole body and keeping our center line power. He said “You don’t have to wait 30 years. You can get it next class”. I think I understand what he was saying. I also believe my teacher who said that Aikido is not for sprinters. These ideas do not contradict each other.

If we train as though nothing will happen until we are Shodan or Sandan, then we are neglecting the value of what we are doing now. We must be ravenous for the teachings, desperate to understand now, so that we are awake and receptive to insights that we may have, even if they are accidental. Much of this comes back to Shoshin (Beginner’s Mind). When we first begin, it is easy to keep this hunger, because everything is big and new and exciting. But what is more, beginners are not often deterred when they can’t do it. They want to try again. THIS determination must be deliberately cultivated as training and experience progress.

We enjoy Aikido or we would not be here. We want to get it. We want it to work. When we hit a plateau or are unable to repeat something done right our ego can get bruised. The bigger the ego, the bigger the bruise. “I SHOULD BE ABLE TO DO THIS! AAARRGHH!”. At that moment we are lost. Relax. Focus. Do it again. This is just # 11,264 out of a million repetitions we will do in our lifetime. Just let it come. Watch it closely. Be ready to see something.