I really did not know what I would write for this, my 9th testing essay. I looked back at what I had said before, and much of it seemed the same. I looked at others I had begun, but I found the same thing. I am finding it hard to see something “new”. As usual, the answer came by shifting my angle slightly. Maybe I just need to change what I consider to be “new”.
In the early stages of training, it happened more often than not that the answer to my technical problems was a technical detail that I was not aware of before. “Keep your arms in throughout kamae” or “don’t look down when pinning”. I took this “new” information and tried to absorb it, make it automatic.
As training progressed, there were fewer “new” nuggets of knowledge. But the old knowledge kept changing in depth and clarity. Like an isolated puzzle piece, each thing I know looks different as other pieces get added around it. As things become more and more “the same”, that similarity is changing the texture of each component.
In educational terminology, this would be called a holistic view of Aikido. This also helps me understand why it is so important to begin and end with Kamae (both literally and figuratively). Our eyes may focus on an individual puzzle piece as we try to figure out where it might fit, but we never know if we have placed it correctly until we set it down and widen our view to see the entire image.
Everyone’s path and challenges are unique. I think my training is going well. I wish I had started younger. I wish I could train more often. I wish, I wish, blah blah blah. Whatever the final picture in my Aikido puzzle may be, it is made up of the exact pieces of my experiences. I can no more regret my failures than I can my successes. I am happy to begin from where I am today.
Journeying many steps,
I turn to see the footprints of the past.
Only this path has led me here.
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